he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
