There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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