She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
