guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
