I'm lost and stupid without you.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
