Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i think i just lost a toe
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
