I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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