my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
