My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
