Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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