I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
