doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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