So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
