i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
