I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
