He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
