he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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