Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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