Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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