Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
