i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you never un-have a 4some
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
