I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
