the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
