i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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