All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
