I'm going to jail i love you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
