is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
