Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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