Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
