Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
