I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
