I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Are we still banned from the library?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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