I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
