best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
