Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
