D3 body, D1 cock
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
