Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
