I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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