his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
