what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
