it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
