I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
