Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
