God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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