thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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