Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
