Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
