If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
