my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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