just come out here and I will go home with you...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
